A typical Jessica Story: J'ai tombé dans la rigole ( I fell in la rigole)

For those of you that know me, you've grown accustomed to my clumsiness and could almost predict stories like this one, so I'll indulge you once more.

La rigole, what's that? They are cement ditches that are all over Douala to help drain the daily thunderstorms. They vary in size, depth, and the amount of stagnant water and trash that has been collected in them. Sometimes there are cement blocks that are laid over them or make do wooden plank bridges to help you cross, but more times than not, they are just left open.

So the other day, I was walking around my normal taxi pick

up area. I got distracted by the taxi guy eagerly calling me over to his taxi and I went to cross la rigole and my first foot didn't get a proper footing before I lifted my second foot. About halfway through I realized, "oh shit, I'm not going to make it!" and that I would need to readjust. I thought I could dip my leg down and lift it up before it hit the ditch all the way, but I guessed wrong. In an attempt to find solid ground and hoist myself back up I plunged my foot ankle deep into this trash swamp, but the terror of my foot plunging into this caused me to react hastily and I scratched my entire shin along the cement siding. And this particular la rigole happens to be one of the more disgusting ones. (See picture, and yes my foot went in that exact one) The trash is piled high in stagnant water that has been baking in the sun all day long; the odor it emits is just lovely. On top of that, the taxi pick up at this time happens to be quite busy and so everyone saw me as I did this and they seemed rather amused by it, because multiple people yelled, "la blanche la blanche" (the white person, the white person) pretty loudly, but I was too mortified to turn back around and acknowledge them.

After my clumsy crossing, my taxi driver didn't seemed to be phased by my trash soaked foot and bleeding shin and I just wanted to get home, so I got in the cab with my stinky foot and let it boil in the heat filled taxi for another 20 minutes next to all the other passengers. At last I got home. I defeatedly trudged up to my door with my bleeding leg and my swamp marinated foot, but just my luck no one was home and Mary's work was closed, so there was no way for me to retrieve the keys. I sat outside my house for another 30 minutes soaking up the sun and the lovely odor emitting from my foot. Finally, Mary returned and saw my leg and was horrified by the blood, but laughed after I told her what happened. I've never been so excited in my life to wash my leg/foot.

The story actually helped me get in with my friends and co-workers here, because once they saw my leg (there was no hiding it) they would ask what happened and it seems to be kind of a rite of passage that you fall into one of these ditches. Most people had a story to share with me about how they did it one time or another. See my clumsiness pays off =)

Update on the nude sightings

I finally asked what the deal was with the nudes guys and I was told that they are the local crazies. It's interesting that they all seem to look the same, because as soon as I mentioned it everyone references the dread lock hair, where did the trend start? Anyways, I am assuming that mental health services are lacking here and this is why I've seen them around town. I was also told that they are pretty rare, but I must be one lucky gal, because the following day I was in the cab and saw a full on nude just walking down the street. He didn't even bother with a shirt this time, only a ripped vest like piece of cloth. I've been told that a lot of the things I see are really rare, but I happen to stumble across the most interesting things. I do spend an average of 2 hours a day in a cab, so that does help my exposure. Stay posted, cause I am sure there will be plenty of other fun sightings.

International Women's Day!

So, I've heard of International Women's Day, but I've never officially celebrated it. I was fully introduced to the Cameroonian way of celebrating this year and I can't think of any better way to celebrate. It's actually a really big day here and for weeks leading up to the celebration the tailor shops sell the dresses and fabric specially made for this day. There is one pattern that comes in two colors, bright pink and bright green. For as many women there are in Douala there were equally as many styles of dresses. It was really cool to see how many different styles could be made with this one pattern. Of course I had to get a dress, pink, naturally. Women get the day off work, but no one informed me of this, so I went to work, damn not understanding French well enough.

I celebrated the night with about 14 other women that are friends with my roommate. We started the night off in our matching dresses at the local fish restaurant and ate some delicious grilled fish and drank beer. I listened to their debates about women's rights and how women need to have more equality in education and their reasonings. All the women cheered and toasted!

Afterwards we headed to the local night club where we had our own table and bottle service reserved. We drank lots of whisky and shook our booties like crazy. My favorite part of the night is when they had my walk up to the male singer and make it rain!!!hahaha okay not really, but they did have me take a dollar bill and flash it around his face and then drop it over his head! Which he replied with, "Il y a une chinoise dans la maison ce soir!" (There is a Chinese in the house tonight!) and everyone cheered and then he asked "Comment elle s'appelle....?" And the group of ladies I came with yelled, "JESSICA!" for him, but he had my say my name into the microphone again and the whole club got a hoot out of it! I can't think of a better way to celebrate being a woman!

The female condom demystified

As part of my orientation, I got to participate in a counselor training last week. We were training counselors on the logistics of our community education program. The topic of condom distribution came up and the moderator mentioned female condoms and the counselors curiously asked for an explanation on how to use female condoms. So I've seen a fair share of female condom demonstrations, but this one was by far the best and I have to admit, I was even blushing some points.

We all got female condoms and the moderator walked us through on how to pinch it just right to insert it into the vagina. And then he perfectly demonstrated the most ample positions for a woman to insert the condom, one leg up on the desk with your legs spread eagle or a two legged squat with your both legs spread wide. To see a full grown man candidly squat into these positions was priceless. He then told us that men can also insert into the woman and demonstrated with his hand how a man can have just as much fun doing it as well.

He then went in for a more up close demonstration and created a mock vagina with his hand to show the proper placement over the labia. He started off using his finger to show the correct way to penetrate, but felt that wasn't sufficient and then asked if we had an artificial penis, which we did! As we handed it over to him he commented on how it was a really good artificial penis. So after he had the proper tools he proceeded to show us the correct penetration and then the incorrect penetration.

Just as quickly as he started the demonstration he ended it and reminded us to wash our hands when it was all over. And then someone asked if it was toxic to which he replied with, "non, ce n'est pas toxique!" and licked the lube off his fingers like it was leftover candy. "Pas toxique"

And then my co-worker asked me if I knew about the female condom, I said, "yea sure." And then he asked, "have you used one before?" And I replied with, "oh no, I haven't actually" and just laughed and then said, "pas encore!" (not yet) and he just laughed at me and repeated my words, "pas encore" I have to say after that demonstration, I'm sold and want to try it.

The opposite of white girl braids

White girl braids, what are they? It's when westerners go to other countries and in attempt to assimilate/boost their ego they get their hair braided like the locals. Aren't we all victims this? How can you resist the cool braids? I've definitely partaken in the braided hair frenzy. Well, I've now had the pleasure of experiencing the other end of the spectrum.

Last night, my roommate came home with her new hair do, which she got done to look just like my hair. She had long black wavy extensions put in and even got the side bangs to match. We got a good laugh out of this. She asked if I liked it and I responded with of course! It's just like my hair how can I not like it! And we continued to laugh and give each other high fives over her new do. Love it =)

le theme de mon sejours! - The theme of my trip!

Arnold: Tu as un petit ami?

Moi: Non, Je ne l'ai pas.

Arnold: On va trouver un mari pour Jessica!

Moi: On verra....

Arnold: Non, pas on verra. Il faut qu'on trouve un camerounaise pour Jessica!

Arnold: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: No, I don't.

Arnold: We are going to find a husband for Jessica.

Me: We'll see....

Arnold: No we aren't going to see! We have to find a Cameroonian man for Jessica!

And it was this big...........

Au bar avec mes amis - At the bar with my friends

Moi: Aujourd'hui j'ai vu un rat comme ca dans la maison! (avec mes mains) - Today I saw a rat that was this big in the house! Showing with my hands.

Mary: Elle a vu une souris... - She saw a mouse

Moi: Non, ce n'etait pas une souri, c'etait un rat! comme ca!!!! - No, it wasn't a mouse, it was a rat that was this big!

Salvador: Jessica, comme ca? ou comme ca? - Showing with his hands

Moi: C'etait un rat! Comme ca!!!!! It was a rat this big!

Mary et Salvador: (rire et sourire) They just laugh and smile at me

Mary: Elle a trop peur! She is too scared!

Nude sightings

The other day, I was in the taxi downtown Douala and a man wearing nothing below the waist just walks around the corner as normal as ever. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight of his penis flopping around. The following day, I got out of the taxi by my house to see a man walking towards me with the same situation going on downstairs. I compared nude sightings with the other volunteers and we can now confirm that yes, most Cameroonian men are circumcised, a rumor we were debating the other day relating to HIV/AIDS transmission. On a more serious note, I am going to ask my host mates about why there are men just walking around with no pants on and the cultural relevance.

Fellow Asians unite and pornography

This morning, why hello fellow Asian! Fancy meeting you here on the street and because I look like I am Chinese you are going to offer me a ride! But like the Cameroonian people, I know better because like me you know karate. =)

A Conversation with my French teacher:

M Kefack: So those are the only things you think are bad about the internet? Don't you know that a lot of young people use it for sexual things?

Me: Oh, yeah. Isn't that pretty normal?

M. Kefack: No, it's bad.

Me: But wait, I see porn being sold on the streets everyday. Kids and families can see it just out in the open.

M. Kefack: (smiles and laughs) aaah tu as raison! It's not quite the same thing and that is relatively new. You can imagine what the people are doing behind the locked doors at the cyber cafes.